Him. Reader X Male

Say Something

You stood, staring at the back of him. Him.  Oh Him.  Why did it have to be him who you fell for, why couldn’t it have been someone else.  Someone that was actually worth your time. Someone that was capable of loving you </b> .  Not some fake copy of yourself that you put out for him to look at.  He would never love the real you, and that’s something that you live with everyday.  Every second that you look at him and he looks back.

But then you ask yourself, does he really look back, or just stare blankly in your direction.  Does he look at YOU or the things around you.  Does he know you even exist……You would follow that boy where ever he would go, you would support him in anything and everything he would do.  You would have devoted yourself to his cause, like a follower of Christ.  He would be your savior.  

I’m giving up on you

You tell yourself that everyday you look in the mirror.  No matter how hard you’ve tried, no matter what you have done.  He wont even say something.  Not one single thing toward you.  When you get home, you sob, because you know that you will never get over him as long as he’s there.  Right. There.

And then, he’s just an arms length away, maybe more, maybe less.  The feelings come back in a rush, you can’t control them, you need him to be your savior, your Christ.  

I’ll be the one if you want me to—

You want to scream that at the top of your lungs, tears pouring down your face.  You want him to recognize the undying love that you have for him, the pain that you go through everyday as he makes eye contact.  You start to doubt yourself, thinking that your not good enough.

Not Athletic Enough
Not Skinny Enough but too skinny at the same time.
Not Pretty Enough
Not Normal Enough.

And so, you try to give up.

All of your hope is gone, you cant even stand looking at him anymore.  Its not because you hate him, oh no it’s the exact opposite.  It’s because if you look at him, you will start to remember the day dreams, and then you’ll start crying.  

And its all because of him. </b>